barbara walters just said penis...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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