wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
