Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
