the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
