Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
