Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
