Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
