do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
