You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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