Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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