idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
