Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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