i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
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