I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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