Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
