Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
