if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
