He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
