That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
