similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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