p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
