jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
