white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
