At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Still dying that you shit outside
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
