soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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