I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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