Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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