I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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