there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
