Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's shark week go big or go home
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
