So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
