sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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