I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
