You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize