The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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