you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Did I show you my penis last night?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
