she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
