I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
