dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
