I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
