Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
