she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
