No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
In America we eat man semen.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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