Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
