How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
