these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
