dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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