Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
