Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize