sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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