Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize