I must be too annoying 4 u.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
