Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Farmville is her only friend.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize