What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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