Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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