Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
