Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
