didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
