She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
