It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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