At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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