sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
