In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
